Still Making a Difference
“I was somebody.
Who, is no business
Of yours.”
Found on a gravestone in Stowe, Vermont
All of us want to be ‘somebody.’ And, to most of us it does matter that we are ‘somebody’ to certain people. Whether it is our immediate family, our social circle, our religious group, people at our workplace, or the world at large, being ‘somebody’ to someone else has meaning. It means we were able to make a difference in the other person’s life.
And making a difference is about making the world a better place.
Confucius is quoted as saying “To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.”
So what does it take to put your heart right?
Here are 5 powerful proven ways to put your heart right and put you on the path to making a difference.
- Appreciate, Don’t Demean – simple words of appreciation gain respect and openness from others.
- Give Credit, Take Blame – sincerely acknowledging another’s contributions, regardless of how small, gives meaning to the individual.
- Listen More, Speak Less– withholding comment and asking questions allows expression and learning and creates confidence in the other.
- Affirm Your Commitment – letting others know you are committed to their success gives them hope.
- Give the Minimum Help Necessary – giving only the minimum help necessary sends the message you trust others and have confidence in their abilities.
Remember these by holding up your hand and putting one action on each finger:
- Thumbs up to appreciate
- Pointer finger to give credit and point out the accomplishments of others
- Middle finger – the longest finger – to spend more time listening
- Ring finger where commitment of marriage is displayed to focus on commitment to the success of the other person
- Rather than “not lifting a finger to help” remember with the pinky finger to do only what the other cannot do for himself or herself
Leaders and managers who do this will find their employees more willing, capable, and productive.
Parents and teachers who do this will find their children and students more confident and assertive.
Spouses who do this will find their partners more caring and considerate.
In your next meaningful conversation, go through the thumb and fingers during your interaction and experience the power of influence that comes as you make a difference in the life of another person.
Try this out for 7 days; make it a habit and you will make a legacy of influence for yourself.
Teach others to do this and it will give them an advantage in whatever they do.
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