… with this counsel on solving attitude problems.
In discussing how to deal with employee attitude problems, the author(s) of this article at Training Time describes a difficult employee situation and how to resolve it.
The Attitude Problem:
“Jane is a nightmare to work with. She’s bossy. Troublesome. Swears like a sailor. Demands that everyone meet her personal standards of performance. Whines and complains when things don’t go her way. Double-checks and corrects everyone else’s work including colleagues, managers and people in other departments. Insists her way is the right way. Knows EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING. Just ask her. Or don’t. She’ll tell you anyhow.”
The Solution:
1. Document the problem
2. Schedule a meeting
3. Expect resistance, blaming, excuses, anger
4. Offer specific behavioral changes
5. Be clear about the consequences of not changing
6. Follow through
Admittedly, this is a very good process to follow when working with someone to change behavior. People need to know what isn’t working, what needs to be done, and what will happen if it isn’t done.
Here’s the problem I have with this counsel: It’s too shallow; and it focuses only on the behaviors, not on what is driving the behaviors.
The Root of the Problem
I’m enough of a behaviorist to know that we all behave in a certain way because of various influences. I’m also enough of a creationist to know that people are unique, with individual talents, skills, abilities, interests, and values. These things drive behavior.
Consider the classic “Man’s Search for Meaning.” What is the difference between how Victor Frankl handled his terribly difficult situation and how others did?
How about the true stories of simple, unassuming, yet courageous and valiant soldiers who – in an instant – sacrifice their lives for their companions? Yet others don’t. What is the difference between them?
Even the classic “A Christmas Carol.” Ebeneezer Scrooge (fictitious though he may be), while shown the possible (probable?) outcome of his life if he continued to live it the way he did, changes for what many believe to be the reason of not liking the outcome. But I wonder if that is truly why he changed.
What caused the change, or the actions, in any of these people?
– A decision based on values. –
Frankl decided that his peace and his behavior towards his fellow prisoners and even his captors (the values) was more important than his anger, than his revenge, even than his life if need be.
Soldiers-turned-heroes decide that the lives of their companions and countrymen and women are more important than their own. While some may act “instinctively” in the moment, their action is ultimately driven by a prior decision of values. Whether during upbringing, training, or in the field, somehow, somewhere they have made the decision that they will put their life completely on the line for their friends and companions. Whether for love, for patriotism, or for simple commitment to watch out for their neighbor, there was a decision based on values.
Scrooges or Uncle Ebeneezers?
What about Ebeneezer?
True, Scrooge was shown the “things that might be” and this was part of his change of heart. But, why didn’t he say, “so what, life is short; he who has the most toys wins; I am who I am and others just need to accept that!”
I have worked with some Scrooges — individuals who were brash, abrasive, confrontational, even seemingly uncaring. Some of them did turn into “Uncle Ebeneezers.” But most stayed Scrooges. Why? Because their values were such that it didn’t matter what others thought. It didn’t even matter if they would lose their job if they didn’t change. And, candidly, some who did try to change to avoid the consequences, ultimately went back to their unacceptable behavior.
My point is that unless and until you can get to the values of the person, and understand where they are coming from, and whether they value the changed behavior, their behavior changes will be short-lived at best and insubstantial at worst. They will likely end up leaving your organization (thanks to your following the proper steps) and causing the same problem in another organization even though they know the consequences of doing so.
Yes, influence behavior. Talk about consequences. Show them the better way – and the required way – to work in your organization. These will help.
But to truly bring about a change, get to values. If theirs don’t meet with yours, the path is very clear and no more wasting time.
If their values and yours are a match, then show how the behavior is inconsistent with the value.
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